Click here for printable Guidelines for Marriage Preparation in the Orthodox Church
Click here for a printable Affidavit for License to Mary
GUIDELINES FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION IN THE ORTHODOX CHURCH
1. Marriage Preparation
1.1. Marriage preparation has been set forth to assist you and contribute to a successful marriage. These activities will deal with many aspects of marriage as well as what a marriage means in the Orthodox Church for Orthodox Christians.
1.2. Marriage is, as are many things in life, a learned experience. Learning how to give, how to love, how to share, how to make mutual decisions with your spouse as in one thought, one in action and one in flesh. Holy Matrimony is not only a Sacrament at the time of the ceremony, but also throughout life.
1.3. As part of your preparation for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, you will be required as a couple to meet with Fr. Christos Christofidis for a few pre-marital preparation sessions, during which you will gain knowledge about the wedding preparation, wedding ceremony and you new life as a couple. In the mean time please read the following guidelines. They are meant to answer any questions you may have concerning all the participants at the Sacrament.
2. Scheduling
2.1. The date and time for the Sacrament should be arranged with the Parish Office as far in advance as possible. The latest a Sacrament may be scheduled is at 5 pm. An initial meeting with the couple will be arranged with Fr.
2.2. Marriages are not performed on fast days or during fasting seasons; these include the Great Lent and Holy Week, August 1-15, August 29 (Beheading of St. John the Baptist), September 14 (Exaltation of the Holy Cross), and December 13 thru 25 (Nativity). Nor are marriages celebrated on the day before and the day of a Great Feast of the Lord, including Theophany (January 5 and 6), Pascha, Pentecost, and Christmas (December 24 and 25).
3. Canonical Requirements, Papers, Documents & Certificates
3.1. For the union of a man and woman to be recognized as sacramentally valid by the Orthodox Church, the following conditions must be met:
3.2. The Sacrament of Matrimony must be celebrated by an Orthodox Priest of a canonical Orthodox jurisdiction, according to the liturgical tradition of the Orthodox Church, in a canonical Orthodox Church, and with the authorization of the local Greek Orthodox Metropolis.
3.3. Before requesting permission from his Bishop to perform the marriage, (Affidavit for License to Marry) the Priest will verify that:
3.3.1. neither of the parties in question are already married to other persons, either in this country or elsewhere;
3.3.2. the parties in question are not related to each other to a degree that would constitute an impediment;
3.3.3. if either or both parties are widowed, they have presented the death certificate(s) of the deceased spouse(s);
3.3.4. if either or both of the parties have been previously married in the Orthodox Church, they have obtained ecclesiastical as well as civil divorce(s);
3.3.5. the party or parties who are members of a parish other than the one in which the marriage is to be performed have provided a certificate declaring them to be members in good standing with that parish for the current year; and
3.3.6. a civil marriage license has been obtained from civil authorities.
3.4. No person may marry more than three times in the Church, with permission for a third marriage granted only with extreme oikonomia (dispensation).
3.5. In cases involving the marriage of Orthodox and non-Orthodox Christians, the latter must have been baptized, in water, in the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. The Church cannot bless the marriage of an Orthodox Christian to a non-Christian. It is not required that the individual become Orthodox; on the other hand, he or she does not become Orthodox merely by being married in the Orthodox Church. Should the individual wish to join the Church, a period of instruction will be necessary leading to Confirmation prior to the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
3.6. Every couple that is being married in the Orthodox Church must have an Orthodox Sponsor (also sometimes referred as “koumbaros” or “koumbara” or “paranymphos” “paranymphy”), who must be a member in good standing with the Orthodox Church. This individual must be chosen carefully since the role of the Sponsor is a sacred one. In the strict interpretation of the Church, the Sponsor is not the same person as the best man or maid or matron of honor, although they can be the same individual in a wedding ceremony.
3.7. In other Christian denominations, the best man and/or maid or matron of honor is considered nothing more that a legal witness to the ceremony. The Orthodox Sponsor, is yes, a legal witness, but an ecclesiastical witness as well, who stands on behalf of the congregation. The Sponsor is also the person you turn to for advice and counsel in your lives.
3.8. You may have in your wedding both a Sponsor, and a best man/maid or matron of honor, or they may be the same person. While the role of the best man/maid or matron of honor is that of a witness, that of the Orthodox Sponsor is an active one. The Sponsor exchanges the wedding rings and the crowns and holds the ribbon as you walk around the ceremonial altar table as husband and wife. Traditionally, the Sponsor purchases the wedding crowns, the silver tray & the wine cup that is used during the ceremony. They also cover the expenses of the wedding itself (priest, cantor, organist and sexton).
3.9. If your Sponsor is from another canonical Orthodox Parish, he/she must provide a current certificate of membership proving him or her to be an Orthodox Christian in good standing with the Church. A person who does not belong to a parish, or who belongs to a parish under the jurisdiction of a bishop who is not in communion with the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese, or who, if married, has not had his or her marriage blessed by the Orthodox Church, or, if divorced, has not received an ecclesiastical divorce, cannot be a sponsor. Non-Orthodox persons may be members of the wedding party, but may not exchange the rings or crowns.
4. Inter-Christian Marriages
4.1. It is a fact that, the more a couple has in common, the more likely they are to live together in peace and concord. Shared faith and traditions spare couples and their children, as well as their extended families, many serious problems, and help to strengthen the bonds between them. Even so, the Orthodox Church will bless marriages between Orthodox and non-Orthodox partners provided that:
4.2. the non-Orthodox partner is a Christian who has been baptized, in water, in the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit; and
4.3. the couple makes the promise before God to baptize their children in the Orthodox Church, and raise and nurture them in accordance with the Orthodox Faith.
4.4. A baptized Orthodox Christian whose wedding has not been blessed by the Orthodox Church is no longer in good standing with the Church, and may not receive the Sacraments of the Church, including Holy Communion, Orthodox Funeral, or become a Sponsor of an Orthodox Marriage, Baptism or Chrismation. A non-Orthodox Christian who marries an Orthodox Christian does not thereby become a member of the Orthodox Church, and may not receive the Sacraments, including Holy Communion, or be buried by the Church, serve on the Parish Council, or vote in parish assemblies or elections. To participate in the Church's life, one must be received into the Church by the Sacrament of Baptism or, in the case of persons baptized with water in the Holy Trinity, following a period of instruction, by Chrismation. Conversion to the Orthodox Christian faith is not a requirement. If you desire to become Orthodox Christian, this matter needs to be addressed separately and apart from the wedding. It should not be a conversion for the sake of convenience, nor should it be to make someone happy. The decision should be made following geniune prayer and thought.
5. Spiritual Preparation
5.1. If you are an Orthodox Christian, you are urged to attend church Services regularly, and receive the Sacrament of Confession and the Sacrament of Holy Communion as preparation for your marriage. By doing so, you will bring a new vitality, a spirit and bond to your marriage that will enhance and deepen your relationship & lives.
5.2. If you are not an Orthodox Christian, you are urged to contact your parish and partake in a sacramental preparation, which will grant you Spiritual renewal, thus enabling you, also, to prepare for your wedding.
6. Required Items For The Sacrament
6.1. Affidavit for License to Marry (must be received prior to first meeting).
6.2. Couple’s Stewardship Pledge (must be received prior to first meeting).
6.3. Copies of Baptismal Certificates (must be received prior to the first meeting).
6.4. The Sponsor’s current Stewardship Pledge or Stewardship confirmation.
6.5. Civil Marriage License (to be provided to the Parish Office prior to the rehearsal). Please check with your local civil authorities ( County Orphan ’s Court) for the requirements.
6.6. The wedding bands. Please bring at rehearsal.
6.7. The marriage crowns or "stephana". They are placed on your heads during the wedding ceremony. They may be purchased or you may make them yourselves. The crowns are joined with a 3’ white ribbon. Please bring at rehearsal.
6.8. The church cantor,
6.9. Two white candles 18"-24" in length.
7. Optional Items
7.1. Having organ music is optional, it is only for the prossesional and the recessional, and the music selection is only from the hymnology of the Orthodox Faith. The church organist, (Mrs. Eleni Soultoukis 215 824 2046), must be contacted early and directly by the couple & work out the music selections and her fee. Songs outside of the tradition of the Orthodox Faith are not permitted during the Sacrament. In case of an interfaith marriage, Fr.
7.2. Floral arrangements may be set up one hour prior to the Ceremony, Pew arrangements or bows may be used (there are 15 pews on each side of the center isle) provided they are attached in a way that does not mar the wood and they must be removed following the Sacrament.
7.3. A 55’ runner may be used (usually provided by the florist).
8. Photographs & Video. Photographs & video recordings of your wedding ceremony are permitted, as long as they do not impede or distract from the Sacrament. Photographers should not be conspicuous about what they are doing. The priest should be consulted prior to the ceremony and will inform them of the procedures to be followed. Cameras used by family members should be discouraged in church during the Sacrament. Photographers should be aware that they must dress in a manner befitting a church.
9. Language Of The Ceremony. English and Greek may be used in any combination upon consultation with Fr.
10. Clergy Guests
10.1. Guest clergy may participate in the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church if the family and
10.2. They do not take part in any of the liturgical parts of the ceremony.
10.3. They will be given a designated position on the Solea of the church or in the first pew.
10.4. At the conclusion of the Orthodox ceremony, they may be acknowledged, may read a suitable prayer, and may address brief words of good wishes to the couple and guests. Non-Orthodox elements may not be added or incorporated within the Orthodox Wedding Ceremony. These include religious songs and prayers from other traditions, poems, recitations, musical numbers, vows and the like.
11. Length of Service. The length of the wedding ceremony is approximately 45 minutes, depending on the length of the processional and the recessional. You should plan for about an hour from beginning to end.
12. Church Etiquette. Please remember that the Church is primarily a house of worship. It is therefore requested that there be no gum chewing, loud talking, clapping, or other inappropriate behavior that interferes with the prayers and worship of others. The throwing of rice in the church proper is prohibited. Such behavior does not lend itself to the dignity of the ceremony and distracts from the sacredness of the occasion.
13. The Receiving Line. Some couples prefer to have their receiving line at the end of the ceremony in the Narthex of the church. Others prefer a receiving line at the reception. The choice is yours. Please keep in mind that the throwing of rice, birdseed, or any sort of candy at the newlyweds, in Church, at the Narthex, the stone porch, or the driveway in front of the Church, is strictly forbidden because it is difficult to clean up. A good alternative is soap bubbles or flower pedals that do not cause any permanent damage.
14. Reception. If you would like Fr.
15. Rehearsal. A rehearsal is usually held a day or two prior to the wedding ceremony. It familiarizes everyone in the wedding party with the ceremony and what is expected on the day of the wedding. Please plan your rehearsal with
16. Wedding Program. If you are providing a program on the Sacrament of marriage, the following "The Orthodox Wedding Ceremony" text is recommended. If you have any questions, please call Father